If your Karma seems to be a never ending pain

We all heard of Karma and have an intuitive understanding of it – usually mixed up with our cultural heritage, so for Westerners it is likely to associate it with the Christian definition of sin and guilt, and since the abyss into it is so vast,
the wild-card for it in Christianity is the original sin which implies that we all are overloaded by it and need the grace of an authoritative god-figure to relieve us from it.


Yet in my understanding Karma seems to be merely the accumulation of millions of decisions, resolutions and conceptions which did in time shape our personality – neither good, nor bad, just the result of ones own mindset which developed over lifetimes.

Let’s take an example of 2 kids under extreme pressure:
One may withdraw into its own world and become more and more sensitive, fragile but also intuitive, and the other one may turn rebellious and subscribe to the philosophy of strength.

If this goes on for decades, the entire body-type may be shaped – the first one turning feeble or fat and the second one may become strong but also choleric.
And this in turn will lead them into total different life-situations where the first one sees the world as hostile and finds a secret happiness in the realms of fantasy and spirituality whilst the second one may become a hardcore materialist and very successful in “breaking a few eggs” to accomplish own goals.

Many situations will be encountered,
which then will lead to total different new resolutions, experiences and conclusions.

A change in character usually happens long after one tried to resolve a situation – usually it is when someone “had enough” and takes consequences.
This is the stage in which one doesn’t bother anymore getting into details and discussing things, but simply acts in a certain way.

Think of arguments you had with some (kind of) people; and at one stage you decided not getting involved into useless nitty-gritty stuff anymore, but just do your own thing.

This is when your personality-type mixes with the conclusions which were drawn from experiences. (And I want to point out that it is merely the conclusions, not the experiences themselves which shape ones character – two people may experience the exact same thing and react in very different ways to them).

And once things got intermingled the way back is usually hard to trace any longer. Whilst psychology does try to reconstruct root-issues through analysis, the causes may lie much deeper than the usual assumed ones in childhood if one believes in reincarnation for example. After each rebirth there is a kind of reset in which previous experiences are forgotten, but the conclusions and physical results being a certain elemental or body type, are carried forward

Someone did experience something a long long time ago which did shape the character and even physiology, and lifes later may react to certain circumstances in unexplainable ways – hence the simple place-holder-terminology for it is Karma.

So now most of us take Karma in a fatalistic way of a mysterious force overshadowing us.
But the good news is that there is a “solution” of literally “re-solving” this huge entanglement between the world and the individual: It’s the “dis-solving” of that which we decided to construct as our persona – our concerns for our relationship to the world – or in other words our ego.

This is a very difficult task, because there is no intellectual guideline and in order to “get a grip” on ones worldly entanglements one has to let this go and look from a meta-perspective. And this is what meditation allows us to do: To simply step out of the hamster-wheel of having to react and therewith add more stuff onto the pile of Karma, and simply to be.

So instead of boiling the water with emotions one does cool it down until the bottom freezes which then lets parts of ice raise to the top. In time the entire water will be turned into “coolness” and calmness.

The only problem with it is that no one knows the amount of water which is to be cooled down – is it a decade worth of troubles or thousands of years of previous lives? And neither do we know the severity of our misconceptions, so to answer how long this will take is like asking “how long is a piece of string” ?

And this is where we all at one point or another fall into desperation for having worked for so long on our issues and sacrificed so much, and yet, here we are still having to endure the same pain again and again and again.

It simply is frustrating not to see any progress, so here are a few visualisations in order not to give up:

1. Nature grows slowly – if a fast change is forced it usually is a tree being logged

Whenever pharmaceutical products work fast, they usually don’t build something in the body, but destroy something like the excessive Yang energy in young people when forcing  them to calm down with Ritalin for example.

2.) Some progress can be seen and keeps being hidden for a long while


  • yet there is progress.

If you for example only focus on the change of a minute, you will not see anything happening for 59 seconds, yet things do shift constantly. Cover the seconds on the right with your hand to simulate to be blinded to smaller changes – you need patience to wait for the next minute when not seeing the seconds move.

2.) If your life seems to go back and forth it may be part of a larger picture

Let’s stay at the example time and think that you would be one of the 24 analog clocks below, but can not understand the irregularities of your life alone.
You may not see it yet, but in the larger context it later may make perfect sense:

3.) Your timeline is not necessarily straight but possible a spiral

You evolve from the bottom and every so often you encounter the same point P again and again, but always on a higher level.

Or if the spiral is lying your evolution seems to go up and down

  • yet you are slowly increasing your level of consciousness:



Subconsciously you know it – even it the personality-work seems never to stop – all you need is to carry on to do your soul-cleansing, because the most stupid thing would be to turn around, when you walked the largest part of the way through the desert already.

I once walked with a group through the desert and we came to an oasis, but the pond below the waterfall was full of people, so we had to walk up the hill to the next one.
This also was full of people so we walked further up to the third one which also was occupied. Knowing that there were Panthers which were quiet in the day, we kept walking to the fourth one, but when this also was not free we carried on until the fifth one and there we had he most beautiful view over the desert and I later found out that I coincidentally did visit the place where David supposedly shot down Goliath.

This taught me that sometimes when times are tough, it simply might mean that I should not settle at this low level but literally rise above my difficulties, because I might finally be rewarded with the most beautiful view on life.

7 Replies to “If your Karma seems to be a never ending pain”

  1. So let me ask you this. If someone doesn’t believe in reincarnation ( I quite frankly don’t know what I believe) would you still recommend this?

    Can anyone out there tell me that they actually found the inner peace and bliss promised through this meditation?


    1. For some technical reasons I missed all those replies until now, so sorry for the delay.
      I myself am no advocate of classical reincarnation, but the more I do meditate the more I see much larger cycles than this life has to offer, meaning there are many signs which indicate to bigger cycles.
      However else could Mozart have been such a childhood-genius for example?
      And in regards to meditation: It goes and I feel desparate, but then a larger bliss follows and all makes senes again, so in the long term this definitely works.
      Now for example despite additional recent health-issues I feel better than ever, because the meditation-wisdom made me solve longterm family issues which is a huge weight lifted of my shoulders.


    2. One year after your comment, Amy, I had another thought on your question about how to tackle the cycle of our soul which is longer than this life:
      Whether you believe in reincarnation or simply look at your ancestor’s energy boils down to the same:
      You see a red threat of energy which you somehow have to deal with.
      That’s why issues take so long, because you are literally working out thousands if years of stuff.
      Compared to such a timerange issues which last for decades in your life become much less significant.

      The unpleasant part is accepting that our ancestors (who often got on our nerves) are part of that energy which still resides in us.
      But then again – I guess it is our task to come to terms and therewith dissolve obsolete energies by not fighting against them anymore, but letting them go and making peace with the changes you or your ancestral tribe did undergo.

      Same applies to others – getting hung up on something they said is, like someone said, like keeping a piece of hot coal in your hand in order to hopefully returning it to the once you got it from.

      If you want to practice that, you can start making peace with me, because I sense that by disagreeing on the use of plastic-straws you once could have been offended, which was not my intention. Anyway, nowadays I would react more diplomatically, especially since such an issue is not worth lingering around.


  2. Another brilliant post. The example of the analog clocks and the projection of the helix on two axes are superb illustrations. I wish to add
    “The mass of the sun curves space-time in such a way that although the earth follows a straight path in four-dimensional space-time, it appears to us to move along a circular orbit in three-dimensional space. This is rather like watching an airplane flying over hilly ground. Although it follows a straight line in three-dimensional space, its shadow follows a curved path on the two-dimensional ground.” This is from a brief history of time by Spehen Hawking.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Holy Shmoly! This is a very advanced answer and I have to figure out what a straight path in a four dimensional line is.
      You seem to really have gotten what Hawkins said – I got stuck in the middle of his book!
      Your humbleness hides your intelligence – so I learned to keep an open mind for anybody from you.


  3. I want to share what the teacher told us during Vipassana Meditation
    The sub-conscious is programmed by karma and conditioning. It reacts for every trigger and communicates through bodily sensations. If you act based on this, it is RE-ACTION and the karma and conditioning accumulate.If you are able to let go of the reaction, some part of your karma and conditioning are transmuted.
    I think that in all meditations, we get impulses. Observing the impulses and not reacting is one of the basic principles of meditation. This definitely alters how impulses originate. As per some modern emotional intelligence experiments, this rewires the brain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is lovely, thanks for your both comments which I just saw now.
      The issue in reality is that at certain stages some tremendous anger about before unrealised betrayals etc. arise and they than stick in the mind and are not so easy to let go, because there is no way to “unsee” unpleasant new insights.


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