An attempt to figure out the way the mind evolves throughout our karmic biography
versus the means of reflection, contemplation and meditation.
Our entanglement in life is unfathomable, which leads us to the believe that there must be some higher force or reason behind all of it.
Without wanting to dismiss anyones believe in higher powers, one thing for me is certain – I have the right to understand myself by myself,
so instead of putting my head into the sand of ignorant fatalism, I want to start a very personal research into the twists of the human mind by using my life as an example.
I don’t do this because I do consider my life as more important than anyone elses’, but for the simple reason that it is the only one I fully have access to – at least to the extend that I still remember all those events which were not suppressed into the realm of forgetfulness by my resisting ego.
This timing is right, because I just started a 3 year long inner journey to literally re-search for my higher, true or divine soul by the means of Yoga-meditation which will bring a lot of autobiographical stuff up, before insights come.
So I herewith will open myself up totally; by writing down all experiences which did have a lasting impact on me – regardless of their political correctness or how they make me look like.
What is needed in this time of dishonest Kali-Yuga-masquerade for the sake of preserving an image to impress the shallow minded ones currently in power; is someone who reclaims honesty in the superficial social-network-farce by opening up in an honest way in order to break the story of the emperor’s new clothes. And since I have nothing to loose, I make the first step here; in the hope to inspire others to loose their fear of being authentic.
Whilst most people like stories of inspirations in order to be uplifted, this series might put of those who merely look for the bright side of life without wanting to look at the entire picture.
I observed this already, as some advocates of the (in itself still shallow) mere”wellness-and-health-food-spirituality“, or of the other extreme of a “mere faith in an authoritarian god figure who will rescue us all” stopped reading this blog or replying to mails.
Those usually were people who were looking for inspriations (in from the outside) without wanting to include the saturnic (duty) aspects of (self claimed) “@spirations”.
Those people will resort to autobiographies of people who made it to the top of our society.
But this – in opposition to Yogananda’s “Autobiography of a Yogi” will be an “Autobiography of a looser” – a chronology of an epic downfall, but therefore the display of lessons of in non-attachment through literal dis-appointments -> unfulfilled appointments, my naive mind made in blind hope with reality.
As a future disclaimer – I want to add that most of my life-deviations will turn out to have become valuable lessons
– first on a lower consciousness in form of at times cynical consequences,
– then as a “street-wisdom” or a “wisdom of age“, which as we know is less “wisdom” but often sadly only limited to distrustful strategic lessons,
– and later guided by my meditative higher mind to some forms of more loving and compassionate world-views which allow for the existence of an Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations (which Gene Roddenberry’s Vulcans did cherish).
So whenever you can’t relate to one point or another, I can assure you that most of what I am about to write will be explained later.
The only reason why I won’t explain my misconceptions straight away is in order to let the reader walk with me through an experience – something which would not happen if you knew the outcome (for the same reasons no one likes movie-spoilers).
Because memories will not all come up in chronological order, I will categorise my autobiography in the blog here under a “bio(graphy)” menu points, like:
+>my 20s (, 30s, 40s, etc..)
+> my yin and yang sides
+> different issues (such as #family, #men, #women, etc)
+> lower and higher mind insights …
so that you may pick out the parts which you can relate to.